This is the day that we celebrate our independence in America.  With flags waiving and firework displays we proudly commemorate the day when we became a free country, no longer under the rule of another, no longer subject to anyone else’s rules.  We’ve come a long way.  We’ve made mistakes.  We’ve veered off course, but today, every 4th of July, we remember what we started out to be and it is that we celebrate in our hearts.

Today, this is MY declaration of independence.  Feel free to join in.

I hold these truths to be self evident:

All people are created equal and hold equal value.  No one is more important than anyone else.  Every single person has immeasurable worth and is a work of art.

There is no such thing as a “lost cause.”

I don’t have to have all the answers. 

Everytime I stand up for someone else, I have one more person who will stand up for me when the time comes. . . and it will.

This independence day I will:

Dream big. 

Believe in God. 

Love unconditionally. 

Give freely. 

Learn constantly.

Dance madly.

Laugh often.

Stop trying so hard to be perfect. 

From The Butterrfly Project to all our friends ~  Happy 4th of July!

The signs were all there.  It could have been avoided. If I’d only listened, it never would have happened, but as the saying goes - “Hindsight is always 20/20.”

How much sorrow could I have avoided if I had just paid attention to what was important instead of dealing with the aftermath?  How many times do I have to get knocked down before I stop standing on that same street corner, absently looking the other way?

Recently, I was given a pretty large wake up call and I have to tell you, when you get hit in the face with your own mistakes, it hurts.  Bad. 

I think the thing that hurt the worst, though, was that it could have been avoided.  It was entirely my fault and when the chips came down, I had no one to blame but myself.  All I can say is “ouch.”  Loudly.

Here’s what I learned on my latest adventure with self defeat - maybe it will help you avoid one yourself:

Excellent people are always on time.  For years I have been perpetually late.  I knew I needed to work on it, but the list of other things more pressing always seemed to push that one down to the bottom.  While it might seem of little importance, it isn’t.  Procrastination leads to forgetfulness which leads to trouble.  Trust me on that.

It’s the little things that can and will ruin your life.  The tiniest cracks in a wall, over time, grow big.  Eventually the wall will collapse.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but in increments.  If you don’t take immediate steps to repair the cracks, one day that wall will crumble and let me tell you, the mess is devastating and terrible to clean up.  (I’ll be cleaning up for months).

When the chips are down and you’re standing in a mess of your own making, those who truly love you will be standing there with you, sifting through the rubble, helping you rebuild.  Unconditional love stands beside you, even when you’re at fault.  No questions asked.  Cherish those people like gold.

When it’s over, keep the lesson, dump the rest.  Not forgiving yourself is pointless.  Not to mention, deadly.  Make restitution the best you can and move on.  If God forgives, so must you.  Give yourself the grace to start over with a clean slate.  Once you’ve taken corrective measures, there’s nothing more to gain by reliving the event or punishing yourself ad nauseum. (Note: Don’t let other people do it either).

Realize that no matter what else you learned, you are stronger now than ever.  “Every happening, whether great or small is a parable whereby God speaks to us.  The art of life is to get the message.” Goethe

Truly great hearts are tested and refined not through ease and comfort, but through heat and pressure.  Sometimes ALOT of heat and pressure. (If you’re stubborn, raise your hand). I am fairly famous for being hard to teach, which, in part, is why I also get in so much trouble.  Which brings me to my last point. . .

Listen carefully to the small voice that tells you when you need to make changes.  I can’t tell you how many times that little voice spoke to me over time, warning me to pay closer attention, but I was distracted by the big voices that seemed more important.  If you pay attention to the little things, the big things will decrease in number. 

Funny, how clear it all seems now.

The news was bad. Real bad. A lifetime of bad news really. Just one bad report after another. Or so it seemed at the time.

Bills piling up. Family crisis. Health woes. Friendships gone wrong. And to make matters worse, there was no end in sight. No light at the end of the tunnel. No saving grace to make it all bearable.

Ever had one of those weeks? One of those years?

The irony of it all was that I was trying so hard to do something good and had the very best intentions. I thought if I just tried hard enough and poured myself out like water on everyone else’s woes that somehow mine would magically disappear.

But they didn’t. . . they got worse.

There were hard decisions to make. Heartbreaking doses of reality to swallow and oh, the crow to be eaten. (Icky!) In the midst of it all I began to doubt the very meaning of life and most certainly began to doubt whether God was there at all. All those dreams of mine seemed like a cruel joke to me and I felt like a hypocrite. Hopelessness crept in like a fog that clouded my thinking for days. I fought the urge to break into tears every hour. Abandoned. That’s how it felt. Utterly abandoned.

One day I woke up and decided that it was time to give it all up. Time to close up shop and go back to what I knew before. I was a failure. No one cared what I had to say or what I did. There was no compunction about it. Only a soul sickness and heartbreak that left me without words.

In an act of what I felt was utter futility, I lay on the floor of my bathroom and cried like a baby, as I laid my dreams and hopes before God. Like so many broken pieces of china, I threw them down and walked away empty handed. Desolate. Inconsolable. Broken.

No one knew what I was going through. No one even asked. A quiet voice called to me every day asking “What do you believe?” And my answer was a pitiful “I don’t know anymore,” as I went through the motions just like always, but I was different inside. Detached. Empty.

Taking my own advice, I focused on being of use to other people. I had failed at my own life, but maybe I could somehow be of use in theirs. At least it helped pass the time. And so it went. Just another sad story and another washed up person, trying to salvage some kind of life.

Or so I thought.

While working on a project for someone very dear to me, on a day when the very act of getting out of bed seemed so pointless, I got a phone call from someone I’d never met. Someone who had suddenly gotten an overwhelming urge to get in touch with me. He didn’t even know why. “I don’t normally do this, but something told me I should get in touch with you, so I did.” he said, as I listened in disbelief and shock. In a very short time the gravity of what had just happened became clear as the one person who could actually take my little dream and make it a reality agreed to take it on, sight unseen, and then some.

I was speechless.

Then I cried. Tears of joy. Pure unadulterated joy. In a single moment everything changed and what seemed like the most impossible of circumstances became a brand new era of hope and success, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, as a new life was born.

Here is what I know to be true. Now, more than ever.

There are no hopeless circumstances. Only people who have become hopeless about them. When the bottom falls out of your life and the only place left to go is up, that is precisely the moment God will show up, if only to prove that He can be trusted and He is the Only One you need.

I tell you this story because I am not the only one who has experienced the “dark night of the soul.” I am not the only one who has felt the pain and heartbreak of failure, nor am I the only one who has watched their dreams slip through their fingers and cried from the depths of their soul at the injustice of it all. Maybe you’re reading this and your life has fallen apart. It seems like you can’t win for losing and you’ve got nothing more to give. There’s nowhere left to turn and no one you can turn to. Take it from someone who knows that place all too well –- when you absolutely have no way to fix it yourself, lay it down as a sacrifice. God will take it from there.

There comes a time in every life when we must decide what we believe and who we believe in. As long as we keep believing that we can somehow fix things ourselves instead of relying on God to make it right, our lives become like the Titanic, once a glorious representation of industry and ingenuity, now lying broken and haunted at the bottom of the sea.

If, however, we will take our lives and our dreams and offer them to God as a sacrifice to do with as He will, a power beyond all we could ever hope for is unleashed. There are limits to what we can do, but there are no limits on God. Selah.

As the economy goes in the dumper and lives all over the world are being turned upside down through disaster and war, do yourself a favor and deposit your life in God’s hands to do with as He will. My life is living proof that He can be trusted.

Believe it.

Oh, and one more thing. . . Be sure to answer your phone.