The signs were all there.  It could have been avoided. If I’d only listened, it never would have happened, but as the saying goes - “Hindsight is always 20/20.”

How much sorrow could I have avoided if I had just paid attention to what was important instead of dealing with the aftermath?  How many times do I have to get knocked down before I stop standing on that same street corner, absently looking the other way?

Recently, I was given a pretty large wake up call and I have to tell you, when you get hit in the face with your own mistakes, it hurts.  Bad. 

I think the thing that hurt the worst, though, was that it could have been avoided.  It was entirely my fault and when the chips came down, I had no one to blame but myself.  All I can say is “ouch.”  Loudly.

Here’s what I learned on my latest adventure with self defeat - maybe it will help you avoid one yourself:

Excellent people are always on time.  For years I have been perpetually late.  I knew I needed to work on it, but the list of other things more pressing always seemed to push that one down to the bottom.  While it might seem of little importance, it isn’t.  Procrastination leads to forgetfulness which leads to trouble.  Trust me on that.

It’s the little things that can and will ruin your life.  The tiniest cracks in a wall, over time, grow big.  Eventually the wall will collapse.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but in increments.  If you don’t take immediate steps to repair the cracks, one day that wall will crumble and let me tell you, the mess is devastating and terrible to clean up.  (I’ll be cleaning up for months).

When the chips are down and you’re standing in a mess of your own making, those who truly love you will be standing there with you, sifting through the rubble, helping you rebuild.  Unconditional love stands beside you, even when you’re at fault.  No questions asked.  Cherish those people like gold.

When it’s over, keep the lesson, dump the rest.  Not forgiving yourself is pointless.  Not to mention, deadly.  Make restitution the best you can and move on.  If God forgives, so must you.  Give yourself the grace to start over with a clean slate.  Once you’ve taken corrective measures, there’s nothing more to gain by reliving the event or punishing yourself ad nauseum. (Note: Don’t let other people do it either).

Realize that no matter what else you learned, you are stronger now than ever.  “Every happening, whether great or small is a parable whereby God speaks to us.  The art of life is to get the message.” Goethe

Truly great hearts are tested and refined not through ease and comfort, but through heat and pressure.  Sometimes ALOT of heat and pressure. (If you’re stubborn, raise your hand). I am fairly famous for being hard to teach, which, in part, is why I also get in so much trouble.  Which brings me to my last point. . .

Listen carefully to the small voice that tells you when you need to make changes.  I can’t tell you how many times that little voice spoke to me over time, warning me to pay closer attention, but I was distracted by the big voices that seemed more important.  If you pay attention to the little things, the big things will decrease in number. 

Funny, how clear it all seems now.